“How long more do I have, Dr Ho?”
It’s a question I hear from time to time, and it never gets any easier to answer.
A terminal cancer diagnosis brings with it a weight that is impossible to put into words. It isn’t just about the number of days, weeks, or months left. It’s about the meaning of those days. It’s about the pain—physical, emotional, and spiritual. It’s about the fear of the unknown. It’s about the love that remains and the life that still exists in every moment.
The Honest Truth
I wish I had a crystal ball, but I don’t. No doctor does. Medicine gives us statistics, but statistics are just numbers—they don’t define your journey. Some people surpass expectations; others go sooner than we’d hoped. What I do know is this: you are not a number. You are a person, a life, a story still unfolding.
Managing the Pain
Pain is often the first thing that comes to mind, and rightly so. No one should have to suffer. Thankfully, we have powerful tools to manage pain—medications, nerve blocks, and intraspinal morphine pumps that can bring relief. I want you to know that pain can be controlled. If what we are using isn’t enough, we adjust. We adapt. We don’t give up.
But pain isn’t just physical. It has layers. There’s the ache in your heart, the unspoken worries, the unfinished conversations. These need care too.
The Emotional Burden
Receiving a terminal diagnosis is like being handed an impossible weight to carry. There are days when it feels manageable and other days when you just want to give up and end it all. You might be grieving the future you imagined. You might be worried about the people you love. You might be angry, or you might feel at peace.
All of it is normal.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to your loved ones. Let them in. If it feels too much, there are counsellors, spiritual leaders, and support groups—people who understand and want to walk this road with you. I will be here, too.
What About ....
Beyond the pain and emotions, there are practical concerns—your legacy, your unfinished business, the things that matter to you. Some people want to put their affairs in order, to ensure their families are taken care of. Others focus on making the most of the time they have—traveling, making memories, simply being with the people they love.
There is no right or wrong way. Only your way.
If you want to talk about these things, I will listen. If you want silence, I will sit with you. If you want to fight for more time, we will fight. If you want to focus on comfort, we will make that happen. This is your journey, and my role is to walk alongside you, however you choose to go.
The Time That Remains
So, how long more do you have?
I don’t know. But what I do know is that today, you are here. And today matters.
Let’s make today as good as it can be.
~ Dr Ho Kok Yuen ~